Grief is one of the most complex and enduring human emotions. It has no expiration date and no clear pattern — sneaking up on you in good days and bad, in moments of silence and noise alike. Some days, the burden is heavier than others. Though it’s such a widespread emotion, the love we lose is so deeply personal that it can feel like no one else is carrying the same weight. One of the interesting things about grief is that it doesn’t only come when we lose people. It can be a pet, a treasured item, a version of the future you thought you’d have, or an opportunity missed. Every version of grief is a difficult experience, and it’s important to remember that it’s a process to move through — not a problem to fix.
Grief possesses a strange kind of power. Even on the days we do our best to hold ourselves together, it has a way of slipping through the cracks. A familiar scent, a certain song, the way the light looks at a particular time of year — grief can rise in small and unexpected moments. It doesn’t follow a straight line or a schedule and can return long after you thought you’d made peace with someone or something. One important thing to remember is that our bodies hold memory, even when our minds try their best to forget. Holding space for this allows us to acknowledge grief as it is: an emotion that comes in waves. Some days, it’s crushing. Others, it’s dull. And sometimes, we may forget that we’re grieving at all — until it comes back with a harsh knock to remind us.
What can we do with this feeling? How do we live with it? Know that there is no right way to grieve. Seek support. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the process, and allow yourself time to heal. Keep showing up for yourself. Hold space for the intricacies of what you feel. Time may soften the edges, and it may not. It’s not easy to lose someone or something meaningful. Consider writing a message or speaking aloud to the person or experience you’re grieving. There’s catharsis in letting it out and power in accepting what is — even as you long for what was, or what might have been.
Grief is a revolving process. It may come knocking again, and that’s okay.
If and when it does, may you meet it with compassion — because grief is not a flaw.
It’s a mark of how deeply you’ve loved.
